How not to be a crazy wife...

I think I have to buy the Georgia version of this tag for my van...  I will explain, but first I want to tell you a true story.

 Ernest Gordon’s  book....“Miracle on the River Kwai” tells of a great sacrifice, a sacrifice similar to Christ.    The story took place during  World War 2.    Scottish soldiers were being forced by their Japanese captors to continuously labor on a jungle railroad.  The soldiers, having great despair over the harsh abuse by the Japanese, their lack of food, and facing  certain death by starvation or exhaustion, had degenerated to barbaric behavior towards one another.  ......That is until someone showed love in an amazing way…     It happened that a shovel was missing from their work detail. The Japanese officer in charge became enraged that one of the Scottish soldiers would have the nerve to steal a shovel, so he ranted and screamed, demanding that the missing shovel be produced.   When nobody in the Scottish squadron budged or spoke, the Japanese officer got his gun and threatened to kill them all on the spot.

It was obvious the officer meant what he had said. Then, an amazing thing happened….. one man stepped forward. The Japanese officer put away his gun, picked up a shovel, and unmercifully beat the Scottish soldier to death. When it was over, the survivors picked up the bloody corpse and carried it with them to the second tool check. This time, no shovel was missing. Sadly, there had been a miscount at the first check point.  The Scottish Soldier made the ultimate sacrifice for his fellow soldiers.  He took the penalty for something he did not do, to protect his fellow soldiers.

The word spread like wildfire through the whole camp. Even though they had acted like barbarians to each other, an innocent man had been willing to die to save them!  The incident had a profound effect, as the Scottish soldiers began to treat each other like brothers. When the victorious Allies swept in, the survivors, mere human skeletons, lined up in front of their cruel Japanese captors.  What happened next?  Mercy!  They did not allow an attack of their harsh Japanese captors.   The Scottish soldiers declared, ‘No more hatred. No more killing.  Now what we need is forgiveness.’”

Sacrificial love has power to transform what was deadly into life and hope.

 I heard this story and instantly wanted to share it with you.  Why?  Because ...at times...I can be a crazy wife..and not in a good way.    Even in a good marriage … where I am safe, loved, and protected…. I struggle to always show love towards my spouse …the person that I promised to have and to hold until death parts us… I struggle to love  him with a sacrificial love.   I can give you a recent example  (CRAZY WIFE).  Just a few nights ago, we were out for a walk.  As we strolled, I  gushed about what a great dad he is and thanked him for the extra-mile things he does with the kids.  Then…I waited for his reply…perhaps to say thanks ..or to say “And I thank you for the extra- mile things you do for our kids…” and so on..   What did he do?  He just changed the subject.  I just brushed that off and we talked about the economy, the Braves, his work…  Then, I pressed him to speak about his heart as I inquired, “How are you spiritually?”  After he quickly answered that, I asked, “How are you physically?”  Next, “How are you emotionally?”  and so forth.  After he promptly replied, “Fine.” ..to all of these questions, instead of asking me the same questions, he just went on to tell me about a  something he heard in the news … unrelated to what I just asked him.    Now, if you are female,..you already know that this hurt my feelings.  Hurt people want to hurt people.  So, I just shut down.  I let him talk..but me trying to connect with him....that was done.  In my mind, I was growling, “He doesn’t care how I am doing.”  I huffed, “He didn’t even ask.”  I grumbled, “What is wrong with him?  Why can’t he be more like  (insert name of any man that you think is more emotionally in tune than your husband)…   So what did I do?  Did I just express forgiveness and voice my hurt feelings and let it go?  NOOOOO….. that would be too Christ-like.. LOL…. I came into the house… got a shower…started reading a book in bed…alone.   When he came up…. My cold shoulder shocked him.  He had no clue why I felt rejected and hurt.  He had no idea, what “fight” we had already had in my mind. LOL…   Through tears I preached and told him of his inability to make conversation and to care about my emotions… There goes crazy wife.    What I should have done is realize he is a man… a man who thinks differently that I do and just needs to be told the obvious sometimes.  I should have been sacrificial in my love for him.  Instead, I complained and cried.   Not, the picture of love.  So, when I heard of this story…there was great conviction.   Romans 5 gives us the perfect model of love... how we should treat people..especially our family members…   It says... But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.       We weren't good. We weren't kind. We weren't lovable...yet He loved us...sacrificing it all through His son.  His amazing unfailing love.

May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22
 

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7

Rise up and help us; rescue us because of your unfailing love..Psalm 44:26

What would have been a better way to have responded to my husband? Using Ephesians 4  I should….
Be honest (vs 25). Restrict anger (v. 26) Keep current (v 26). Recognize the enemy (and it isn't your spouse (v. 27) Act responsibly (v. 28). Speak graciously (v. 29). Rely on God's Spirit (v. 30) Deny sinful passions (v. 31). Show kindness ( v. 32) Readily Forgive (v. 32)

^{Ephesians 4:25-32
25} Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶ “In your anger do not sin”^[d]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸ He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Demonstrating love and giving mercy should be EASY for the one we promised to Love until death do us part.  May God give us the ability to love better… for His glory and honor to demonstrate unfailing love to others as He has shown us .  Hopefully, I can put my faith in action and have a little less crazy wife.