Do you see it? Do you see the bird FEEDER that a bird thought would be a perfect spot for a nest? A pair of house finches worked for a few days as they quickly assembled their nest. We were delighted to watch, but if the birds caught sight of us, they quickly flew away. My sweet husband taped a piece of paper on the window so the birds couldn't see us and would stop being afraid. We meant them no harm, but to the birds we had to look like big, scary predators. The birds couldn't comprehend that we were nothing to be fearful of. God spoke to my heart and said, "That lump in your breast, the one that is hard, doesn't move.. the lump that the doctor said you have to have more tests done, more scans, ultrasounds to determine if it is breast cancer... that lump.. it is nothing to be fearful of,, Just like you look scary to the birds, this lump looks scary to your regular doctor and you, but it is nothing.". I clearly heard Him say that to me after a day of fear gripping my heart. I had already had 3 weeks of knowing about the lump... 3 week of "what if's". 3 weeks of trying to trust His hand. 3 weeks of praying for the peace that transcends all understanding that would guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:7) I told only one friend about the voice in my spirit. I told her about it two days before my 3 hour appointment filled with more mammograms ultrasounds, and breast care specialists. I told her that I was holding on to those words...the words about the birds being scared of harmless me... and me being scared of the harmless lump... I was holding on to those words ...trusting that they were truly words from the Holy Spirit comforting me.
The lump ended up being a harmless fat necrosis. It consists of fatty tissue that has been bruised, injured, or had died. It tends to feel and look like cancer on a mammogram but an ultrasound shows its gooey center and smooth edges which is NOT like cancer. (The lump likely formed from a blind horse biting me over a year ago).
Why did God have me walk through these weeks? What was the purpose? I suppose He is still working on my spiritual muscles of trust. In those weeks, I only had one really bad trust day with the LORD. One really bad, "Can I trust the goodness of God?" Even if it had been cancer, yes, I can trust in His goodness. I have
learned I can trust that God goes before me and is working on my behalf, even when I can
NOT see the entire picture. (If you can't see His hand...trust His heart), I am so thankful for the patience of the LORD. I am so thankful that He isn't done with me.
.. I am so thankful for His loving direction. I am so thankful
for His example of humility and kindness (Philippians 2) . May
we pass that on to other mere people.
God doesn't lack the power to do what He wants to do! Trust Him,
the Good Heavenly father.
I am just now catching up on blogs. I am thankful for the good report and that you clung to His Word.
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