Lessons learned the first 50 years

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I hit a milestone. I turned 50 years old. I am thankful that I don't feel 50.   I am thankful for things God has taught me throughout those 50 years. .  I have learned that God loves mercy and when I feel a sense that justice needs to happen over mercy, all I need to do is remember that I am thankful for when God gives me mercy instead of a just punishment.   (Micah 6:8 8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.) ( Luke 6: 36  Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. ) I have learned that hurt people end up hurting people.   When I am able to see that I didn't hurt them but I am bearing the results of that persons hurt inflicted by other people, it helps me forgive whatever hurt they pushed onto me and move on.  (Romans 12 : 18  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. )  I have learned that anyone who thinks they have God
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Happy Mother's Day!. The pain and the joy...

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Mother's Day can be quite a painful day for people.  We have had years of infertility and times of losing babies through miscarriages.  Through that time, Mother's Day brought tears...unfullfilled dreams...and longings.  ..Not understanding God's plan.   In 2001, I brought home my beautiful Madline from Russia.  I finally felt my arms were full and Mother's Day was no longer painful.  Even now, almost 10 years later, I hurt for those who long to be moms.  

In 2002, I gave a talk at an adoption seminar.  I was one of a few speakers trying to encourage others to adopt.  I wanted to let them know that adoption is NOT second best!  I did want them know that ..like natural childbirth..it isn't without pain.  Here is part of my talk from back in 2002. 

" I want to say a few words to those of you who choose adoption, because like me, you struggled with infertility and miscarriages and just wanted a baby of your own to love.  I found some wonderful words of wisdom that hold much truth and I would like to share them with you.

 Couples experiencing infertility often receive well meaning but insensitive "advice".
We can all list the most popular ones:
"Just relax and you'll get pregnant,” or "adopt and you'll get pregnant" or the most painful from those who think they have the goods on Gods plan: "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." 

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down.  No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I am on.

I've been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.

Frankly, I think God singled me out for special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong………. and so deep ……………that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest…………. Coolest………….., most refreshing drink I have ever known.
While I would have never chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never experience the joy that I know awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know.”

Here is a photo of me…the moment I received my ‘refreshing drink”….


God didn’t let me down   .    I now want to invite you into the foyer to ask questions to the many agencies and start your quest for your baby.  I also want to invite you to talk to the different charities and discover how giving so little can help so much.  Thank you for coming."


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