Vulnerable...

Vulnerable-

a. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.

b. Susceptible to attack:

That's how loving feels sometimes.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

I think he got it.  In order for love to be real, to not guard your heart in a box and for it to waste away, we must be "susceptible to emotional injury"  .   My husband will make me mad, sad, or glad (suddenly I am Dr. Seuss) .  LOL..   I can avoid the bad (and the good) by checking out... and pulling away... nailing myself into that coffin.  What life is there without love?  But love means pain.  So, is it worth it?   I say  an enthusiastic, "Yes."

Tomorrow, John-Michael, my 8 year old son has his annual MRI's to check on the growth of the tumors we know are in his body and to make sure that are no new ones, but we already see new one of his arms and back.  Now, we go to the experts and see if these tumors are fibromas (round, grow in size, but not invasive)..or if they are the dreaded plexi-form fibromas ( grow out..with octopus-like tentacles..grow out..wrap around..grow out wrap around).   How does a mother love a child like that without her heart breaking every day?  How do you not "what if it grows into his spine".. "What if it grows into his heart and he passes away before he is grown".. "what if............................................................."     Some days your heart just breaks into a million pieces.  That is just part of loving.    What do most days look like?  Most days, my friends would say I am happy...and he and his sibling are happy.  Most days are  just like yours... swimming, shopping, errand running, play dates,  ...just doing daily life.  However, there are days like tomorrow..where you sit with the neurosurgeon waiting for him to tell you the reports of   his mri.   

Good has happened.  Here you can read how John-Michael was able to befriend a severely abused horse..

http://www.inhonoroftheking.blogspot.com/2012/03/john-michael-gives-hope-to-trudy.html    

He has taught all of us to give more..take less (I have never seen a child love better).     He is a treasure that I will love without regret!  You must be brave to love through a difficult marriage... to love a friend that hurts you over and over.... to love a child that has medical issues... to love a relative that has let more people down than not....   Vulnerable... It isn't a dirty word. 

This link has a link to his carepage.. 

http://www.inhonoroftheking.blogspot.com/2011/06/from-john-michaels-carepage.html  

OR you can just go to  www.carepages.com       search for his page              johnmichaeldp